Bride Wars: The Movie that Will Set Feminism Back an Entire Generation

“Bride Wars”: the title pretty much says it all. In this “comedy”, two lifelong best friends, portrayed by Anne Hathaway and Kate Hudson, become engaged, book their wedding reception at their dream location – New York’s Plaza Hotel – and find out as the date draws near that a computer error booked both events on the same date. One will have to cancel their date, and give up the wedding they’ve longed for since childhood – but who?

Who cares? There are so many movies of the same genre that I have seen across platforms like il genio dello streaming. 

Let’s be brutally realistic. The global economy is still in a downward spiral. Americans are losing their homes at an alarming daily rate. Thanks to shysters like Bernie Madden, good folks – really, really good folks, including some of the country’s most dedicated charities and non-profits – have lots millions and billions of dollars. The auto industry wants a buy out (is that hand out?) like the banking industry received; is there another industry next in line? (As of January 14, 2008, a Congressional oversight committee had given permission for the CEO’s of banks partaking of the bailout money we’re paying to continue use of their corporate jet planes.) Food prices continue to climb as the job market continues to fall. Wall Street is akin to a brute battleground each and every day.

Yet, the film industry thinks that we would shell out what little hard-earned money that we have left to watch Hathaway and Hudson engage in catfights and hair-pulling because one of them would have to move the date of her wedding in the gauzy piece of fiction known as the movie “Bride Wars”.

Unless this project has been sitting on the shelf for so long that it was ‘do or die’ time for production, I really can’t fathom why a film maker would think this to be appealing. “Sex and the City” was a horrendous, overly long, boorish film that was so out of touch with reality, I have yet to encounter a woman – any woman – who sat through it and actually enjoyed the movie. If chipper little Carrie Bradshaw’s biggest dream was to have a clothes closet the size of most folks’ homes, who am I to judge? Having been roped into seeing it with my oldest daughter (I’ll do pretty much anything that my oldest daughter wants to do, so long as it’s time spent together), I won’t be renting SATC anytime soon. Ever.

The same people – women and men – who rushed out to see “Sex” will most likely be the first to buy tickets for “Bride Wars”. They’ll be there perhaps for the fashion (Vera Wang, anyone? Anyone?); they’ll be there to watch Hathaway and Hudson in a grown-up version of “Mean Girls”. From her touching, wonderful, Oscar-worthy performance in “Rachel Getting Married”, it’s puzzling why Hathaway would take her career back an extra step (or two, or five) by taking part in “Bride Wars”. I am honestly puzzled why anyone would waste their valuable time and money to see two adult women behaving so badly. Is it the physical comedy? It’s funny to watch one woman push another down the aisle on her wedding day? To listen to the bitchiness of genuinely nasty name-calling? Isn’t bullying an alarmingly serious problem in our schools today, so much so that children at the third-grade level are being taught the immorality of being a bully? In short, that’s what these two rich, spoiled young women are: bullies. Bullies with foul mouths, short tempers, a vicious, scheming mindset to do whatever is necessary to get exactly what they want at the expense of others – even your lifelong best friend.

What a pathetic portrayal of the young women of America. Yes, I know it’s a comedy, or at least, marketed as one. In times as tough as we find ourselves now, we can all use a really good, deep laugh – but not at the expense of another person, and not to further a stereotype that I’d hoped had gone away for good.

Real women don’t behave like these characters, we hope. By portraying American women in this movie as shallow, vindictive, petty, mean-spirited, and materialistic, we do no favor to the younger generation of women. These characters should not be perceived as role models. They have, in the end, nothing of any value to offer in terms of common sense, true friendship and the way we’d like to see our daughters grow up. These characters are both silly and stupid, and I’m torn between which is the worse vice.

Don’t waste your money on “Bride Wars”. Donate the money that you would have spent on this featherweight to a shelter for abused and homeless women instead.

Patrick

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Patrick is a part-time fitness trainer and pursuing his Master’s in American Literature from Stanford University. He wishes to share his fitness plan with others to help them achieve their goals in terms of fitness and education.